Eulogy to My Sister Ann
My sister Ann changed the trajectory of my life a number of times. I regret that I didn’t thank her, but it was a realization I made in the wake of her death. And that is how it seems to go, for many of us.
Her deep, kind, laughing heart is what stays with me.
Back in the 80s, Ann invited me to go out dancing with her and Dick at a local Marriott in Downington. This was unusual, I didn’t typically hang out with my older sisters, but I had a night off so I joined them. To this day when I hear this song I conjure us, a goofy trio, dancing. The song was “Joy to The World” by Three Dog Night.
Dick was doing the white guy dance, arms flailing out to the side, and Ann and I were laughing and shakin’ our booties. Young and full of ourselves.
Every life is composed of joy alongside suffering. We want more of one, and none of the other. But we get both and walk through it, we must.
I came to know a little bit about Heaven. When I was seven years old I drowned off the coast of Avalon, NJ and went to what is referred to as “the other side.” There, my recently deceased father and my grandmother awaited me. The love, acceptance and starlit space was indescribable. I was utterly satisfied in my being. Happy, a word that has no equal on earth like it is in Heaven. I was really, finally, eternally happy.
Meanwhile, some man was swimming on the ocean floor looking for me, and he retrieved and revived me. That is how I am here today.
It’s a wonderful thing for me to think about Ann’s reunion in Heaven. I know she now has that happiness, the eternal kind. Reward for a life well-lived. I will remember that.
I choose to remember the joy because in the final analysis, it is joy that is closest to heaven and our natural state of being.
Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan scholar and mystic, tells of a time he spent at the Thomas Merton hermitage in Kentucky. He was out walking with his dog one morning when he saw one of the Merton hermits, who lived alone in prayer and contemplation far away from the world. The hermit hurried towards him and exclaimed, “Richard, you talk to people, I don’t. Richard, you must tell everyone! God is not up there! He is in here.” (gesture towards heart)
As you go through your process of grief and life celebration and illumination, please remember the comfort you seek is there.
Blessings to our dearly departed Ann, her husband Dick, her beautiful children and grandchildren and all of you who loved her.
